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Bureaucracy in Mahabharata
This is worth reading - Bureaucracy in India, A hilarious example of what bureaucracy can do.
A Team comprising of a Writer, a Producer, a Director, etc applied to the Government of India for financial assistance with the script to produce a Movie on Mahabharata. All of them committed suicide later and the reason will be very obvious once you have read the reply from Govt.

Dated ............ .........
Subject: Mahabharata
To:
The Writer, Film Director & Film Producer, Mumbai
Ref: Film story submitted by you, regarding financing of films by Government of India ,Your letter dt. ................. .
The undersigned is directed to refer the above letter and state that the Government has examined your proposal for financing a film called''Mahabharat' . The Very High Level Committee constituted for this purpose has been in consultation with the Human Rights Commission, National Commission for Women and Labour Commission, in addition to various Ministries and State Governments and have formed definitive opinions about the script. Their observations are as below:
1. In the script submitted by you it is shown that there were two sets of cousins, namely, the Kauravas, numbering one hundred, and the Pandavas, numbering five. The Ministry of Health and Family Welfare has pointed out that these numbers are high, well above the norm prescribed for families by them It is brought to your kind attention that when the Government is spending huge amounts for promoting family planning, this will send wrong signals to the public. Therefore, it is recommended that there may be only three Kauravas and one Pandava.
2. The Ministry of Parliamentary Affairs has raised an issue whether it is suitable to depict kings and emperors in this democratic age. Therefore, it is suggested that the Kauravas may be depicted as Honourable Members of Parliament (Lok Sabha) and the Pandava maybe depicted as Honourable Member of Parliament (Rajya Sabha). The ending of the film shows the victory of the said Pandavas over the said Kauravas. The ending may be suitably modified so that neither of the Honourable Members of Parliament are shown as being inferior to the other.
3. The Ministry of Science and Technology has observed that the manner of birth of Kauravas is suggestive of human cloning, a technology banned in India . This may be changed to normal birth.
4. The National Commission for Women has objected that the father of Pandavas, one Sri Pandu is depicted as bigamous, and also there is only one wife for the Pandavas in common. Therefore suitable changes maybe made in the said script so that the said Sri Pandu is not depicted as bigamous. However, with the reduction in number of Pandavas as suggested above, the issue of polyandry can be addressed without further trouble.
5. The Commission for the Physically Challenged has observed that the portrayal of the visually impaired character 'Dhritharastra' is derogatory. Therefore the said character may not be shown as visually impaired.
6. The Department of Women and Child Development have highlighted that the public disrobing of one female character called 'Draupadi' is objectionable and derogatory to women in general. Further the Home Ministry anticipates that depiction of such scenes may create law and order problem and at the same time invite strong protests from the different women forums. Such scenes may also invite penal action under SITA (Suppression of Immoral Traffic Act), therefore they may be avoided and deleted from the film.
7. It is felt that showing the Pandava and the Kauravas as gamblers will be anti-social and counter-productive as it might encourage gambling. Therefore, the said Pandava and Kauravas may be shown to have engaged in horse racing. (Hon. Supreme Court has held horse racing not to be gambling)
8. The Pandavas are shown as working in the King Virat's employment without receiving any salary.
According to the Human Rights Commission, this amounts to bonded labour and may attract provisions
of The Bonded Labour System (Abolition) Act, 1976. This may be corrected at once.
9. In the ensuing war, one character by name Sri Abhimanyu has been shown as fighting. The National Labour Commission has observed that, war being a hazardous industry, and the said character being 16 years old, this depiction will be construed as a case of child labour. Also there is no record of his being paid any compensation. This may also be deemed to be violatory of the provisions of The Child Labour (Prohibition and Regulation) Act, 1986 and Minimum Wages Act, 1948. Such references in the film may be removed.
10. The character 'Sri Krishna' has been depicted as wearing a peacock feather. The peacock is our National Bird and wearing dresses made from peacock feather is an offence under the Wild Life Protection Act, 1972. This may not be depicted.
11. Smt Maneka Gandhi has raised very serious objection for using any elephants or horses in war scenes,
since there is every scope for mistreatment and injury to the said animals. The provisions of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act, 1890 and Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (Amendment) Act, 1960 would be applicable in the instant case. Suitable changes may be made in the script to address the objections raised.
12. In pursuance of the Memorandum of Ministry of Finance regarding austerity measures, it is informed
that in the battle field sequences, only ten soldiers may be allowed for each side. Also, all the characters
may be shown to have obtained a valid licence under the Arms Act, 1959 as well as the Indian Arms Act, 1878.
You are therefore requested to modify the script along the lines indicated above and resubmit it to the undersigned at the earliest for reconsideration.
Sd/-
Under Secretary* 
_______________________________________________________________
Office Romance Policy
Objective:
To regulate the romance at workplace and ensure that it does not affect the productivity of the company.
To ensure that the company and employees should not entered unnecessarily into legal hassle in future.
Scope:
This policy is applicable to all employees, (male & female, bosses, subordinate) irrespective of their sexual orientation. (Either straight, gay or lesbian)
Definitions:
1)  Romance: It is intimate gesture (& posture) by two living animals. (Either by male & female, male & male, female & female.) It includes activities like speaking, chatting, and making eye contact with each other. It also includes very intimate gestures and postures which may or may not be objectionable by others.
2)  Romancing couple: Anybody who is into the romancing relationship as mentioned in the scope of this policy.
3)  Office: The place or premise where you come for work, for which you are hired.
4)  Office Romance/relationship: Romance or relationship of couple in office.
Implementing Guidelines:
1)  Romance is a personal matter & choice, however romance in office is an official matter and will be dealt with guidelines issued under this policy.
2)  Any employee can have their choice to be in romantic relationship. However an individual will be responsible for any consequences (including marriages) of the relationship.
3)  Every employee who has completed six month with the company is eligible for the benefits of this policy.
4)  There are three kinds of romances.
a)  Hierarchical romances in which one participant directly reports to the other, and
b)  Utilitarian romances in which one participant satisfies personal/sexual needs in exchange for satisfying the other participant's task related and/or career-related needs.
c)  Pure romance where the participants are purely into a relationship on emotional bonding. Type a &  b should be strictly avoided. In case of "a", one participant will be transferred to other department or will be separated if the company is unable to accommodate the person.   
5)  If you would like to have into the office romance relationship, please communicate jointly to HR with prescribed format. You have to mention all the details like marital status, age, no of attempt, no of affairs etc. For married employees, they have to submit the no objection certificate of their spouse. Divorcee and widow have to submit the relevant proof like court order or death certificate of spouse as case may be.
6)   Once the application is received to HR, HR will verify all the records and if required conduct the verifications through third party. Once the verifications are completed, the proposal will be recommended to the committee, constituted for this purpose. The committee will constitute of HR Head, Two Senior Female offices and immediate superior of applicants. Once the matter is cleared by the committee, the matter will be referred to committee constituted under Sexual Harassment (Prevention) Committee (SHPC). SHPC will study the proposal. It will also verify all the dimensions like if the relationship ends due to any other reasons (excluding marriage), will one of the person could take a stand of the sexual harassment. SHPC will issue separate guidelines regarding how to avoid sexual harassment cases if any unfortunate separation happens and one participant files the case against other participant.
7)   HR department will communicate participants. Then only they can formally start office romance.

8)   Please ensure following once you get an approval of romance. 
  • Keep the relationship private and discreet until you are ready to publicly announce that you are a couple.
  • Behave discreetly in the workplace. Keep public displays of affection off limits at work.
  • Limit the number of people at work with whom you share this confidential information.
  • If your position and responsibilities require you to work together, attend the same meetings, and so on, behave professionally at all times. You are encouraged to be yourself, maintain and speak your continuing opinions, exhibit the same skills, and conduct yourself in the same manner as you did prior to the relationship.
  • Discuss, as a couple, the potential impact of your relationship on your work.
  • Still if you can not manage you can romance without hurting others’ feelings.
  • You are allowed to romance during lunch, coffee breaks only.
  • No additional benefits will be given.
  • Very Very intimate gestures & postures are not allowed in office.
  • We do not have romance or dating allowance. However if you get married the company will give you a handsome gift.
Management has the sole right to withdraw the policy without any reasons.

HR Manager
________________________________________________________________
Mother In Law

A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiancée, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the game.

That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.

At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?'

Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.'

The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?'

'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'

Why do we need Close Friends?

Simple...
  • To pick us from Railway Station at 2 am.
  • To kick us at midnight on Birthday.
  • To make fun of our new outfits.
  • To get latest prints of movies.
  • To call at 3 am just to say goodnight.
  • For the endless treats.
  • To irritate us with missed calls when we are sleeping.
  • Sending lot of messages though we don’t reply.
  • Or May be just to disclose him first that u have crush on anybody!

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